Taking Children Seriously

Subject: Taking Children Seriously Mon May 05, 2008 12:59 am

Introduction to Taking Children Seriously (TCS)

Sarah Fitz-Claridge

“Look, I don't have much time, Sarah. Could you tell me what TCS is briefly? Just give me the short version for now. You've got 15 minutes,” said Wendy, checking her watch. She had just had her first baby and was anxious to get home.

“I'll try,” I said. “But I must warn you that I find it quite difficult to express a deep idea accurately in just a few words.”

“Try,” urged Wendy, firmly. “Forget the subtleties; just give me a quick summary of the TCS method.”

“The problem is that TCS is not an educational method or a parenting strategy, and if you think of it as a method, you're likely to get a wildly inaccurate impression of what it is like.”

“Not a parenting strategy? Well what is it then?” asked Wendy.

“It is a style, a way of thinking about human situations, a philosophy.”

“Whose tenets are...?” prompted Wendy.

“TCS holds that all human beings are fallible and can make mistakes. You can feel 100% sure that you are right, when actually, you are mistaken. We think that there is such a thing as truth, and right and wrong, and that through conjecture and criticism, human beings can come to know and understand truths about the world, including moral truths. But what we can never get is authority, or proof, that any particular idea or belief is one of those truths.

By thinking of family interactions in particular with that in mind, TCS addresses a very important problem: the problem of people in families hurting each other.”

“Hurting each other?” queried Wendy. “Oh I don't think that many parents are into corporal punishment these days, Sarah.”

“I wasn't particularly talking about corporal punishment, I was just referring to the idea many people have, that for one person to get what she wants, another has to suffer – in other words, not get what she wants. What I am saying is that we can all get what we want. No one enjoys making loved ones suffer. But it doesn't have to be like that.”

“Hmmmm... that sounds interesting, if a trifle difficult to believe at the moment.” said Wendy. “Tell me more.”

I continued: “TCS holds that improvement is possible and that the best state to be in is one in which you are solving problems and effecting improvements.”

“OK, but how?” asked Wendy.

“When TCS families have a disagreement, instead of one person imposing her will on the others, they try to solve the problem in such a way that no one gets hurt.”

“Not even the parent?”

“Not even the parent. Parents are people too, m'kay?”

“Glad we got that straight,” said Wendy, with a wink. “But if you think we're going to solve all the problems in this world, Sarah, I hate to break it to you, but that ain't gonna happen this lifetime.”

“Yes, there will always be unsolved problems and unresolved disagreements in the world,” I said. “Scientists haven't solved the death problem yet, and probably won't in our lifetime. But what is relevant here is that they might well have found successively better states of mind in regard to that problem, each the result of successive failures to solve it. The aim is not zero problems: the only individuals who have zero problems are dead ones. The thing to avoid is not so much unsolved or even unsolvable problems, as a state in which our problems are not being solved – where thinking is occurring but our theories aren't changing.”

“Oh, so what you're really advocating is mental progress.” said Wendy.

“Yes,” I said. “Solving a problem means doing whatever it takes to cause those involved to adopt states of mind which they prefer to their previous states, and which do not cause them to hurt each other. This might involve taking some visible action, or it might just mean making a change in your mind.”

“But how exactly do you solve problems? If you have some ideas about this, tell me quickly, Sarah...”

More here
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Subject: Re: Taking Children Seriously Mon May 05, 2008 2:52 am

We think that there is such a thing as truth, and right and wrong, and that through conjecture and criticism, human beings can come to know and understand truths about the world, including moral truths. But what we can never get is authority, or proof, that any particular idea or belief is one of those truths.

I don't get the last sentence.
scratch

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Subject: Re: Taking Children Seriously Mon May 05, 2008 3:04 am

Me neither...
Still, they do have values to offer...
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